Asking for help
Just like flowers, we all have things we need to thrive, even if we have a hard time asking for what we need. Growth happens in many ways such as learning new ways of doing things, sitting down and having meaningful conversations and asking for help even when it’s uncomfortable. Flowers know what they need to grow. While they can’t ‘ask’ for help, they let us know what they need. If we are paying attention, we will see the signs like when they wilt, we know they need more water, sunshine, and maybe a little bit of love to keep growing.
Do you have a tough time asking for help?
I do or at least I used to have a tough time asking for help.
When I was younger, I used to think asking for help was a sign of weakness. I especially felt like that when I was in a leadership position and thought I was supposed to have all the answers and didn’t want to burden others by asking questions and sharing what I needed to succeed.
I could not have been more wrong.
Years ago, one of my good friends taught me an extremely valuable lesson about asking for help. When I was going through a divorce, I was having a conversation with her and shared that I felt I had nothing to offer. I wasn’t comfortable asking people for help, especially when I had nothing to give. She simply asked me, “Ann, how do you feel when people ask you for help?” I replied, “Well, it feels great to be able to be there and walk with them on their journey. I love being able to support people by asking questions or just being there with a listening ear.” She then shared, “Then Ann, give us the opportunity to be there for you and to have those same feelings of knowing you trust us enough to ask us for help.”
So, I share with you – It’s okay to ask for help and not to have all the answers. Nobody knows everything about anything. I have learned that asking for help is a sign of courage, confidence, integrity, strength, trust, vulnerability, and opportunity.
Asking for help means having:
Courage – to acknowledge we don’t have all the answers and that can be frightening.
Confidence – to trust and rely on your knowledge and intuition, knowing when you need assistance and knowing the other person will be able to provide the resources and help you need.
Integrity – to honor the other person’s thoughts and support.
Strength – to admit you need help, and by doing so, you're demonstrating a willingness to evolve.
Trust – to share with others you trust them enough to ask for their insight, advice, and support, knowing they have your best interest at heart.
Vulnerability – to be open about your limitations and weaknesses, which can sometimes feel uncomfortable and yet is a path to growth.
Taking the Opportunity – to learn and grow alongside another person giving them the chance to share their knowledge and experience with you and to feel good about what they have to offer you.
Each of these qualities show that seeking help isn't a sign of weakness but showing great strength and recognizing asking for help is an essential part of learning, growth, and connection. We just need to be open to receiving it and trust that it’s okay to at times rely on others.
Something many of you may already know but I just learned is how to use is voice to text in Microsoft word. I was short on time and, quite frankly, felt mentally paralyzed when I sat down to draft a short article. I also know I talk faster than I type, so I remembered someone telling me about this feature in Word. So, I thought I’m going to see if I can do this. I asked Google for help on how to use it. It shared a link to a YouTube video. OMGOSH – what a great resource and where has it been all my adult typing life? I can now talk out my thoughts, have them recorded, and go back and edit. What a gift ( or you may be thinking, oh no, now she will never shut up)! I’m so glad I listened, asked for help, and tried something new.
Feel free to send me your thoughts on what you have learned about asking for help or a time when someone asked you for help. I’d love to share your ideas and advice with others.
April showers help things grow, and I believe that asking for help displays enormous growth in each one of us. It's an excellent way to be a role model for others and let them know it's okay to ask for help when you need it.
You got this!
And I have your back.
Ann
